Moving on is natural, but keep memories

Moving on is natural, but keep memories

By By ROBERTA M. HELMING
Norwich Bulletin
Posted Dec 17, 2010 @ 12:09 AM

Many in Eastern Connecticut are facing a difficult challenge that began last week with the loss of four young lives in an automobile accident in Griswold. This unimaginable loss is tough on the community, and beyond devastating for the families and friends of these young people.

Right now, the families are surrounded by love and care from the outpouring of community support. That will soon dissipate as we all begin the process of moving on. But for the families, there are years of grief still ahead — birthdays, anniversaries of special times and events, such as next year’s high school graduation that they won’t be attending.

Keeping the emotional support going by continuing to let those grieving know that their loss is still in the hearts and minds of the community — a simple reminder that their children aren’t forgotten — is important.

That is something families members will embrace as they, too, painfully attempt to move on with their lives.

It won’t be easy getting past the void created from such a quick tragedy. The unworn clothes, the empty beds, the empty birthdays and holidays filled with traditions that included these teens that will be no more.

If you knew these young people, take something that you remember them for and keep it alive in your heart and mind.

Those who feel compelled to do more might consider planting a tree or establishing a scholarship in their names, perhaps in an area that was a special interest to them.

Seek support

For their friends, finding comfort won’t be easy either. They need to talk and express how they feel. I hope they seek out a school counselor, clergyman or another friend. There is no shame expressing the hurt. That is part of life, and it enables us to participate in activities organized in their memory. That, too, is part of the healing process.

I’ve searched my mind and heart to understand the deaths of the four teens in Griswold. It truly doesn’t make sense to have them taken from us far too soon. I send my thoughts, heartfelt sympathy and prayers to all affected by this terrible tragedy.

Dillon Clifford, Sativa Cornell, Steven Szklarz and John Clapper touched hearts. Their presence on Earth had meaning. Grieve their loss for a time, but then celebrate their lives through living yours.

That isn’t forgetting, but rather remembering how to live without them in person but forever in the heart — a place where they will live on.

Roberta M. Helming is a freelance writer from Ledyard and regular contributor to the Norwich Bulletin. She can be reached at RMHelming@aol.com

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